The Sisterhood of the Traveling WHITE Pants (aka sometimes our pride needs a reality check)

It all began on a girls trip to Vietnam.  Straightaway, you should expect something amazing or humiliating. Let the record show that this was one for the “lessons in humility” record books… nevertheless, I am your fellow female, and I am here for you! Willing to sacrifice my own humiliation on the alter of sisterhood and a good laugh.  

Normally, a jaunt to Vietnam is not my typical weekend away. However, we were living in Singapore at the time for my husband’s job and flying to these nearby Asian spots was quick and cheap. Also, we were building community among our fellow expats. Spending a few days together in a foreign country was like friendship emersion. You know, like when you bond over a shared uncharted experience with another female. Maybe rooming together for the first time at a retreat or serving on a new committee together or rescuing a girlfriend from a rough night of less than stellar decisions.   

After a few days of exploring the city, Amy, Carmen and I had discovered unknown artists tucked away in hole-in-the-wall shops of dusty Vietnamese streets. We consumed food that we had no idea how to pronounce. AND we rejoiced over the mama freedom we had…to finish a conversation AND eat a meal uninterrupted by the needs of our babies. 

Soon it was time to head back home. 

While my girlfriends and I were packing up and getting ready to head to the airport, Amy commented on my white pants. She thought they were cute and all but stated that she just never wears white pants. Her reason: well, sometimes Aunt Flow can show up unexpectedly…ruining a white pants situation. I had never considered NOT keeping white pants as an outfit option because of Aunt Flow’s occasional unpredictability. I mean, white pants open up so many more fashion possibilities in your wardrobe (this was at a time when fashionable Krisi was still the boss of functional Krisi). “So,” I replied confidently, “I just plan around Aunt Flow’s visits and all is well in my fashion forward world!”

The three of us arrived at the airport, boarded our plane, and were soon taking off for our hour and a half flight home.  Before long, our plane was in its final descent and I noticed that it was one of those highly pressurized landing situations. Maybe you’ve experienced those. Your ears begin to feel as if someone has stuffed them with the contents of an entire king sized mattress and you need some serious chewing gum ASAP or else your head will be forced to explode from the pressure. Yep. That kind.  

Well ladies, all of a sudden, my exploding head was completely insignificant. You see, I began feeling strange yet familiar stirrings in my female plumbing region and the sensation that whatever had been quietly “hanging out” inside of my uterus decided to evacuate like the building was on fire. As our plane touched down, I was acutely aware of the hot mess coming my way. I leaned over to Amy sitting next to me and said, “I have a situation here, I believe Aunt Flow has come barging in unexpectedly.” This happen to be the same friend who holds fast to the “no white pants” rule. However, I had no time to be independent. I needed my sisterhood… And maybe a new outfit to drop down like an oxygen mask. 

My next thought was, “oh my word, I am going to have to stand up and I’m wearing these dad-gum white pants.” Sure enough, as I stood up on that plane, instantly I felt my worst nightmare run down the inside of both of my thighs, soaking into my crisp white fashion statement. In that moment, I mentally made a pact between myself and white pants that had something to do with a bonfire and burning things, but it’s kind of fuzzy. 

As soon as the wheels hit that runway, Amy and Carmen forged into action. This is the girl code, which compels us to champion around a sister who is in need! While Amy, who was standing next to me, laid out the plan for disembarking, Carmen disappeared to the back of the plane and quickly returned with a navy airplane blanket that she purchased for two dollars… because this was economy travel folks, and blankets came with a cost… but again, sisterhood. According to the well crafted plan of the sisterhood, we waited until all other passengers had left the plane and then I made a B-line for the tiny quarters of the airplane bathroom.  I shoved everything Aunt Flow managed to sabotage into the trash bin. Then I grabbed that itchy airplane blanket and wrapped it around my waist and voila, it was a sarong! 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Colossians 3:12

The three of us marched off that plane as if everything was as it should be. We walked boldly to baggage claim. My two compadres with their heads held high considering their heroic efforts towards a sister in need, and me acting as if going commando under a make shift sarong was just as normal as could be. After snagging my bags and a quick change in the ladies room, I came out a stronger and much more humble woman than before… with a new respect for fashion choices and my girlfriends.

XOXO,

Functional Krisi